For those of you who may have had broken hearts, don’t blame him or her. Just remember that people come into your life for a specific purpose and once that purpose is fulfilled, there is no reason for them to stay around, at least that’s how God sees it. Feel free to disagree, but I am of the opinion that nothing happens by chance, and not all relationships are meant to be permanent. Here are two examples in my life that supports this conclusion.

I was very close to my father. The older I got the more I loved him.  He no longer viewed me as a nuisance, but now a competent, intelligent and capable adult whose mind challenged him to see things through different perspectives.  We would spend hours on the phone debating the issues of the day, discussing my life, and his redundant questions of “Why did you not pursue a business degree?” and “Are you sure you can support yourself living alone?” I always came back to the same answer, “Dad, I love what I do and I will be alright.”

Towards the end of 1996, Dad decided to relocate to Jamaica. He phoned me to discuss his financial matters and sort out his business issues here in the states. I hated to see him go, but now the shoe was on the other foot. He was going to be alone. So, being the “parent-daughter” I decided to tease him with questions about his singleness, and all those men-hungry women he would encounter, after all he was now a single 76-year old man living alone. It was only a matter of time before a floozy flashing her skirt tail would get his attention. So, it was my job to counsel him. He laughed and thought it was funny.

In May of 1996, I met a young man, Donald, a very handsome, debonair man. We attended the same church for years but never really noticed each other. One day he found a reason to talk to me (a business matter) and we exchanged phone numbers. He called me the next day and we spoke about the matter. A few days later he called again and before you knew it, our conversations began to be more personal. I was actually enjoying the encounter Within a week we decided to meet casually and have dinner. He was charming! Our relationship grew and in a short time we were exercising together, cooking together and spending a lot more time with each other. I remembered one time as we were on our way to dinner, my dad phoned. I told him I would call him back, he chucked and said, “Sounds like someone is taking up my little girl’s time.” I didn’t confirm his thoughts. Later I phoned Dad, who was now living in Jamaica, he stated something that resurfaced in my mind a few months later, “The Lord is sending someone to hold you.” Not paying attention I missed the correlation of what it meant.

Wednesday before Memorial weekend, I discovered Dad was in New York. He had been here for several days and had not communicated with me. I was on the phone with my sister and during our conversation she mentioned that he was in town. I was upset. She said he was not home so I called later and “read him the riot act.” He laughed and labeled me overprotective, then asked when I was coming to visit him (he was going to be in New York through Father’s day).

The next day I saw Donald and told him about my father’s idiocycries. Donald tenderly stated, “I think you should go and see him this weekend.”  I adamantly stated no. Donald continued urging then said, “How often do you see your father, he’s nearby, so go on, you’ll be glad that you did.” I took Donald’s advice and went to New York to see Dad. We had a great time. My dad doesn’t like to shop, but we went shopping; we went out to eat; went for walks. It was wonderful!

Less than two weeks later, Dad called to say good-bye, he was leaving the next morning to return to Jamaica. I wished him a safe trip, told him I loved him and prayed with him.

At 5:30am Donald called to wake me up for exercise. After our morning devotion over the phone, I grabbed my bag and headed off to the gym before going to work. Throughout the day Donald called me several times. It was a bit unusual. We normally touch basis once a day, but this day it was more than four times, but all pleasant conversations. Anyway, we planned to meet at my apartment for dinner. Donald was a very good cook and I enjoyed sharing the kitchen with him. Along with the food, he made cooking fun

Donald was working on a major project that was due the next day and he wanted my input, so we discussed the project at length after dinner and I helped him type the presentation. It was late and I was worried about him taking the train home after midnight. We decided he would spend the night, drop me at work and then pick me up when he was finished with his appointment.

I was on my way to bed when the phone rang. It was an old friend I had not heard from in many years. We chatted for half-hour. He said he just returned from New York. While in New York he visited with my sisters and saw my dad. We talked about his visit with Dad. After the phone call, I peeped around the corner and notice Donald was asleep on the couch. I pulled a blanket and a pillow from the closet to make him comfortable. He woke up, hugged me and said, ”I’m here for you.” We kissed and he went back to sleep.

The next morning we both overslept, thankfully the phone rang to wake us up. I looked at the time and it was 7:30am. I jumped up, and answered the phone. It was my sister in New York. She paused and stated, “Dad is dead.” The blow of the words struck my heart like a machete. I was silent. I looked out the window, then heard my sister say, “Did you hear what I said?” I could not form any words. She continued to call my name. I told her I would call her back. By this time Donald was standing at my bedroom door. He looked at me and said, “Is everything o.k?” I stretched out my hands and said, “No, my father died.” He ran towards the bed and hugged me. No words were spoken.

Donald cancelled his appointments and stood by my side the entire day as we tried to sort out arrangements. He made all the contacts for me, answered the phone and took charge of my life.

I had no idea how necessary my relationship with Donald would be until this incident happened. For the next two weeks, he was my tower of strength and my fortress. We developed a deep emotional bond. To this day, I cannot imagine how I would have gotten through this period in my life without Donald.

Our relationship remained strong for a few more months, and then we grew apart. The stress and the strains of dealing with my father’s death and sorting out his financial issues, was taking its toll. By winter we ended our relationship. I was broken and confused, but accepted reality. Not only did I loose my father, I also lost a good friend and a relationship. My mourning continued for several more months. In May of 1997, I was invited by a friend to conduct a seminar in Bermuda. He thought it would be a nice distraction so I accepted the offer and prepared for the trip.

After the presentation was over, I was walking down the hallway to see a former classmate who was in the building. As I passed by an open door two gentlemen were in the room. Suddenly I heard someone call my name. I looked in the room; saw a friend and another gentleman that looked familiar. I was introduced to Alvin. The two of us had never me, but we heard of each other. I knew his family and he knew my family. We greeted each other. He asked about my dad, I told him my father passed away last year.

Over the weekend Alvin invited me to dinner.  We shared stories and discovered so much we had in common. We decided to keep in touch through email. A few months later, he suggested a return visit to meet his parents. I thought it was too soon, but with a little nudge I agreed. The trip was wonderful and I was falling in love with Bermuda.

Two months later I returned to Bermuda to attend the October Jazz festival. We both loved music. Alvin played the oboe and was part of a Christian jazz group. I played a few tunes on the piano. Bermuda is a very small island with friendly people so you tend to meet a lot of people in a relatively short time. I came across a couple of cousins I didn’t know lived in Bermuda, so, this was more incentive for repeat trips.

Conclusion

Unfortunately, my relationship with Alvin lasted just under a year. Alvin’s role in my life helped me gain more self-confidence. He taught me how to enjoy life and that it was oaky to take risks and leave my comfort zone, something I was afraid of doing for years. I developed more self-confidence and gained a better understanding of me. Once God saw that I had accomplished this fate he closed the door on this relationship.

Donald provided me with the “open arms” that my father referred to earlier. He was a comfort to me in my distress. I believe he was placed in my life for this purpose. The Lord was preparing him to be there for me knowing that I would need Donald to help me handle the crisis of my father’s death.

At the time I viewed both of these relationships as disappointments. I questioned God because I could not understand His intentions. Sometimes we cannot see beyond the pain, but once we step away and look from another angle we are able to see God’s plan and appreciate his wisdom in orchestrating His Will in our lives.